


A Little Bit of Friendly Advice

by orphan_account



Category: Final Fantasy IX
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-19
Updated: 2010-03-19
Packaged: 2017-10-08 03:18:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/72140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beatrix gets relationship advice from all sorts of sources.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Bit of Friendly Advice

Beatrix packed her bags and left Alexandria, Steiner following her all the way from her room to the airship dock protesting so loudly Beatrix was embarrassed.

"Must you go on holiday?"

"Why must you go on holiday _now_?"

"May I come with you then?"

"Beatrix, this isn't anything to do with _us_, is it?"

To which she replied, respectively:

"Yes, I really must."

"Because I really need a holiday right now."

"No, the Queen needs you to protect her and Alexandria should anything untoward occur while I am gone."

But Beatrix could not answer that last question, not right now, so she merely tugged at the straps of her pack which was slung over her shoulders and marched more determinedly onward. Steiner kept shouting pleas and imprecations at her all the way up the gangway and she could still see his mouth working furiously as the Red Rose chugged away from the docks.

Beatrix sighed deeply as she watched him disappear on the horizon. The sunlight caught his armour from a long way off and she watched long after she could see any trace of him.

If she had answered Steiner's question honestly, Beatrix would have said "_Us_? There is no_us_, Steiner and that is the problem. That man was the most stubborn, pigheaded knight to ever draw breath, Beatrix was convinced of it. She had spoken to all of the women in her acquaintance about it, asking for advice. She had started with Dagger, who had seemed the most likely to have a reasonable idea and who she was also most comfortable talking to about such a personal issue.

* * *

"Princess, I am having difficulties with my relationship with Captain Steiner."

"Oh! He isn't giving you trouble about the Alexandrian Soldiers again, is he? I thought Zidane and I had worked that all out with that official proclamation that the Knights of Pluto and the Soldiers of Alexandria were equally valuable in our eyes as protectors of Alexandria."

"No, I don't mean in a professional capacity, Your Highness. I mean, well, on a more personal level."

"A personal . . . Oh, I see." Garnet leaned forward, smiling gently. "Well whatever is the matter, Beatrix?" She actually looked pleased, but Beatrix assumed it was because she had chosen to confide in Garnet and not because Garnet was amused by her problems.

"Well, Your Majesty has observed that Steiner and I have grown closer since Your Majesty took the throne." Beatrix said, sighing.

"Yes, I had rather noticed that. Steiner hasn't treated you dishonourably in any way, has he?"

"Dishonourably?" Beatrix broke into peals of slightly hysterical laughter. "Steiner? Surely, you jest."

Garnet bit her lip and smiled. "I suppose he _is_ very correct and mannerly. Well, what is the trouble then?"

"Well I almost wish he _would_ treat me dishonourably." Beatrix raised an eyebrow and grinned impishly. "Oh, I wish he'd do _anything_. We have held hands as we patrolled the Harbour together. We have taken drinks at the Morning Star Bar together. We have attended plays at the Mini Theatre. But Steiner has never done anything more than kiss my cheek." She beat her fist on her knee in frustration. "I myself have tried to be more forward, even though I feared it would not be seemly, but he merely turned tail and ran away like the rankest coward! You would think I had offered him a mortal insult."

Garnet sat listening silently with a fist stuffed in her mouth and tears trickling from her eyes.

"You may laugh, Princess. I would laugh if I didn't find it so entirely frustrating. I swear that Captain Steiner does have feelings for me and I would love to spend the rest of my life with him, but if he cannot bring himself to kiss me, then I highly doubt I will be receiving a proposal any time soon."

Garnet did laugh then, but softly. "Oh you poor thing," she said, shaking her head. "I never thought how difficult it must be to fall in love with someone as stuffy . . . I'm sorry," she hung her head.

"No, he _is_ stuffy and proud and stubborn as a Behemoth and I love him anyway. How did you get Zidane to propose to you, Princess?"

"Oh! Well that's easy. I simply dressed in my most low cut and revealing gowns for a week straight and every time he tried to draw me aside into a secluded area to steal a kiss I told him that it went against the rules of propriety for an unmarried lady to be alone with a man without a chaperone. He figured it out pretty quickly after that." Garnet grinned and patted Beatrix's hand. "Just wear some really revealing clothing and Steiner won't be able to resist kissing you and falling even more in love with you."

* * *

Steiner didn't look at Beatrix for a week, for fear of his eyes falling on an inappropriate expanse of exposed flesh.

* * *

Freya visited Alexandria as an ambassador for the Burmecian people who were seeking help with the rebuilding of their country. Beatrix managed to accost her one afternoon and drag her to the palace kitchens for lunch.

"Whenever I want to get Fratley's attention I simply challenge him to a duel," Freya said, her small dark eyes sparkling merrily, "the danger of the chase, the thrill of battle. Really gets the blood going, you know?" she suggested as she munched on a watercress sandwich with relish.

* * *

Steiner spent two days in the infirmary from bruises and cuts incurred during their friendly duel. He stopped kissing Beatrix's hand for fear he would insult her and incur her wrath again.

* * *

Beatrix wasn't sure if Quina _was_ a woman, but she didn't really mind asking the Qu for advice.

"Feed him lots good food that you cook." Quina suggested, waggling its tongue lewdly.

* * *

Steiner spent three days in the infirmary recovering from food poisoning. Cooking had never been Beatrix's strong suit.

* * *

Beatrix approached Ruby hesitantly just after the Matinee showing of Attack of the Killer Oglops III.

"Honey, I know just whut you mean. Men are all so clueless. Get him drunk, sweetheart. He'll paw you up like anybody's business then. But if you take my advice you'll have no truck with men at all, Zagnols, every last one of em."

* * *

Steiner fell asleep at their table after five drinks and Beatrix had to buy a wheelbarrow from the proprietor so that she could get him back to the palace that evening.

* * *

When Amarant and Lani showed up in town Beatrix was feeling so desperate she nearly fell at the woman's feet and wept on her ankles before she even asked for advice. Lani raised an eyebrow at Beatrix's question. Then she thought about it for a few minutes, picking her teeth with the point of a dagger.

"Take a trip," she suggested.

"What good will that do?" Beatrix asked, confused.

"Listen, do you want my advice or not?" Lani drawled.

"Yes, just please, explain." Beatrix said apologetically.

"Okay, well if this guy wants you and he just doesn't know it yet, you gotta make him appreciate you, you know? So go away for awhile, give him some time to think about it. If he really misses you, he'll find some way to show you when you get back. I suggest Madain Sari; it's a little village full of moogles and they take care of you like nobody's business. I've never been so relaxed in my life. Trust me, you'll like it there.

* * *

So Beatrix asked Garnet for leave to take a holiday at Madain Sari that very evening.

"Certainly, you've never had a holiday before in your life, I think." Garnet said. "Take the Red Rose, Zidane and I won't be needed it for a little while. Anyway, Uncle Cid would lend me one of his airships if I really needed one. Oh and don't forget to say hello to all of the moogles for me," she added.

It remained to be seen how effective this last desperate plan would be in getting Steiner to loosen up around Beatrix.

* * *

Beatrix walked into the dusty little village uncertainly, only to find herself enthusiastically greeted by several bouncy little moogles.

"Welcome to Madain Sari, Adventure Resort, kupo." One of the moogles said enthusiastically, whizzing in circles above her head. Beatrix ducked and winced. She'd never been too fond of moogles since she was a little girl playing at calling them with her flute. She'd called the moogles so many times in a row that one of them had threatened that he was sharpening his knife. She'd had nightmares for weeks about little furry things flying into her window at night and stabbing her.

Since then she'd noticed things about them, like that they always appeared right before some sort of traumatic event was about to take place, as if they _knew_ somehow what was going to happen.

"I'm here for a holiday," Beatrix said feebly, "Oh, right this way, kupo," another of the moogles said, plucking her bag right off of her back. Beatrix made a grab for the little purple winged menace, but even laden with her pack it was much too quick for her. Beatrix chased it through the dusty ruins, wearily.

It led her to a small rather run down looking house overlooking the water. Beatrix had to admit that the view was fantastic, but she barely had time to spare it a glance. She caught the moogle inside and snatched the pack's straps, tugging at it desperately.

"Give it here, you," she shouted; the moogle's grip was stronger than it looked.

"Kupo, calm down, lady," it said, releasing the pack so abruptly that Beatrix tumbled over backwards with it and struck her head against the wall.

* * *

"Is she still alive?" Beatrix heard.

"I don't know, kupo, your big stupid pom pom is in my way; I can't see."

"I think she is. Why don't you poke her and see if she reacts."

Beatrix's eyes flew open and she found herself in a small room with light streaming in through the windows and a waterfall pouring somewhere nearby by the sound of things.

"Wh-where am I?" Beatrix asked, clutching a pillow against her chest to ward off the small flying demon-moogles.

"You hit your head, kupo. You're in Madain Sari. We have dinner for you, kupo." Beatrix ate the roast fish and vegetables, grateful to discover that it was quite good.

Although she still had her suspicions about the moogles, it seems they had done everything for her that they could. They'd poured a potion on the bump on her head, which fixed any cuts she'd received in banging her head against the wall and having a bookcase land on it. But they couldn't do anything about the possible concussion she'd given herself.

Beatrix spent several days lounging around in the sunshine with some old books she'd discovered inside of the little house. Sometimes she helped the moogles fish for dinner, although a few times she just fell asleep with the rod clenched in her fist.

It was actually rather relaxing, just like Lani had said, or it would have been anyway if Beatrix's thoughts weren't full of a certain generally inept, socially awkward Captain of the Pluto Knights of Alexandria. Beatrix found herself reminiscing fondly about his clumsy romantic gestures, such as the time he'd tried to give her a bouquet of fresh flowers only to discover an oglop perched charmingly on a daisy just before she opened the door to her room, so that he threw the flowers at her face instead of handing them to her.

Or the time he tried to dance with her on the slippery Harbour in the moonlight and he tripped and slid into the water, nearly drowning, until Beatrix reminded him of his Float ability.

Beatrix thought of Steiner so often in the week that she spent at Madain Sari that she made herself absolutely miserable.

* * *

As Beatrix made the journey back to Alexandria she determined to forget all of the advice she had heard and decided that she would do things _her_ way this time.

* * *

When Beatrix arrived in Alexandria, Steiner was pacing the stone parapet by the docks. He rushed up towards her with his hands spread wide and his mouth open, ready to apologize some more, no doubt, but Beatrix got down on one knee and grabbed one of Steiner's flailing hands and kissed his knuckles reverently, which effectively shut him up so that she could put the next part of her plan into effect immediately.

"Adelbert Steiner, will you marry me?" she asked.

"I, well I never heard of such a . . . Yes," he said, helping her to her feet. Then Beatrix grabbed his face with both of her hands to prevent escape and kissed him firmly on the lips.

 


End file.
